A Thousand Steps into Night

“…[I]t was safest to be within human borders at dawn and dusk, when the veil between Ada and Ana—the worlds of the mortal and the spirit—was thinnest. Miuko’s mother had always been particularly wary of the verge hours, for it was during these times that demons attacked travelers for their unctuous, buttery livers.”

This excerpt points toward the bank of shared knowledge that is generationally transmitted by women for women as they are denied access to other centers of learning. It also describes an intersectionality between both worlds where time is a fixed variable that thins or thickens the barriers between spirits and humans.

“Perhaps it wasn’t the mark of a demon, but the mark of a god. Indigo, after all, was the color of Amyunasa, the December God and first of all Lunar Gods to arise from the primordial waters, from which all things were created and to which all things ultimately returned. It was a color of both life and death, a color of divinity and mystery.”

This passage gestures to the dual meaning of the indigo color in the narrative and foreshadows the unfairness that Miuko experiences as the curse expands on her skin, visibly marking her as connected to the spiritual world for all to see. When something is of indigo color, it can be divine or demonic, and assuming either glosses over any potential nuance to the creature or object that sports the color.

“If she was fortunate enough, she was supposed to become a wife, a mother, a caretaker to her aging father, and, if her husband departed for the spirit world before she did, a widow in the care of her son. Unlike her mother, who had stolen away in order to chase a bigger life beyond Nihaoi, Miuko had long resigned herself to spending the entirety of her days in a failing village.”

In this quote, the Confucian influences are underlined within the Awaran societal structure that would see women only as child bearers and family nurturers, rather than individuals with their own dreams. It also showcases how dependent a woman is on her male family members.

“The truth was, Miuko had many times imagined what it would be like to have the freedoms of a man. If she were a man, she could travel without the company of a male relative.”

Here, the author outlines the unfairness of Omaizi society, which seeks to privilege men’s intellect and freedoms over women’s. Traci Chee showcases the barrier that divides both genders, wherein men are allowed to explore and experience, while women are confined.

“Sidrisine exhaled power. She commanded the entire room with nothing but her presence. And she was a woman. Or a female spirit, at any rate. Never in her seventeen years had Miuko seen anything like it, and, standing there, she could not help wanting to see more.”

Sidrisine is the first example of a woman who unabashedly owns her destiny and her power in society for Miuko. She inspires Miuko to believe that she can also have more than what a life in Nihaoi promises.

“According to the lore, spirits had always had several genders. In ages past, humans had been equally diverse, but recent centuries had seen the reduction of their genders to male, female, and hei, meaning ‘neither male nor female.’ Once, heisu had had social position and families like anyone else, but […] they had been persecuted to the point where they were accepted only in rare corners of Awaran society, such as the priesthood at the House of December.”

Chee describes in this passage how women aren’t the only ones who have felt their lives oppressed by the standing beliefs of the Omaizi clan. Though diversity used to reign within Awara, the Omaizi clan has marginalized those who do not fall within their binary understanding of gender and structured their society within rigid gender roles.

“…[Miuko] realized that the snake demon wielded her power the same way human men did—as an instrument of fear and subjugation—and though Miuko could admit now that she was not satisfied with her station as a servant girl, neither did she wish to trade carnage for respect.”

Miuko begins to understand the dangers of holding power and that freedom is never obtained through the subjugation of another. As she herself is at odds with her growing power as a demon, the notion of never wanting to enact carnage for the respect of others becomes a cornerstone of her own ideology and pushes her to maintain her humanity.

“But she supposed her standards had changed in the three nights since she’d met the shaoha. Perhaps being cursed put things into perspective like that.”

Chee makes it clear that even so short a time as three days into her journey has a monumental effect on how Miuko perceives her life, herself, and the possibilities afforded to her. It is in this moment that the small idea that the curse is not purely detrimental begins to bloom in Miuko’s mind.

 “But even a strong-willed girl like Miuko could not withstand seventeen years of indoctrination into a society that would brand her wanton and unwanted for such behavior, and the greater part of her was ashamed. Ashamed for going. Ashamed for her recklessness. Ashamed for liking it.”

Though Miuko can recognize the unreasonableness of individuals who would shame her for riding a horse and wearing men’s clothing, this passage underlines how insidious societal values can be. They may defy logic and circumstantial necessity, but the emotional impact of such values is hard to overcome and often impedes a person’s judgment.

“Aleila had helped a murderer. She’d protected him, as a mother was supposed to. She’d hacked up the bodies and buried them beneath her family home. But she hadn’t killed those girls. Was birthing a monster worse than being one?”

In this instance, the author hints at the degrees of monstrosity that can pervade human society. Though Awara is a land of spirits, malevolency can also be shared in the human world and the consequences of such evil are not felt equally. Here, Aleila is held to the same degree of fault as her son, the murderer.

“Lady Death. She hated it…and loved it, too, for no man would dare threaten Shao-kanai. No man would catch her or corral her or pinch her into shape like a piece of clay. If she were a monster, she would at last be free.”

This excerpt demonstrates the seduction of demonic power for Miuko. The ability to do away with such conventions and never cater to them anymore is innately appealing to someone like Miuko, who has lived through 17 years of restrictions.

“‘Can you not feel it? The two sides of yourself at odds?’ Even as a shaoha, Miuko didn’t have the nerve to tell him she’d always felt at odds with herself...”

This passage reflects how Miuko is becoming a liminal individual who fits neither fully within the human world as a girl from the serving class nor as a shaoha demon of the spirit world. Part of her journey is to succeed in finding a middle ground between both options.

“But if she did not meet herself at the bridge, she would never be cursed, and if she wasn’t cursed, […] she’d never meet Geiki. […] she’d never discover that all the peculiarities that made her a failure as a girl and a servant could in fact be blessings.”

Miuko evaluates her journey and finds that for all the pain and sacrifice she’s experienced, the knowledge, friendships, and self-discovery she’s acquired have made it worth it. Though the narrative resists the idea of fate with Miuko’s time-traveling, it suggests that even the darkest paths have their purpose.

“But it could not be a misunderstanding now. She was kneeling right next to [her father]. She was right there, speaking to him. This close, he should have known her, no matter her appearance. She was still his daughter.”

This passage demonstrates how ingrained the fear of demons is within human society, even as doting a father as Rohiro can only see Miuko for her indigo skin. Miuko was not able to recognize herself in demon form on the Old Road, but her father’s inability to look further is indicative of human superficial gaze.

“At the sight of him, some deep-rooted instinct reared up inside her like a blast of cold, starving for a kill. It didn’t matter who he was. […] She was a malevolence demon, and she’d been summoned to strike him down.”

When Miuko is summoned for the first time by Kanayi, the narrative showcases the basic instincts that drive demons and evil spirits. There is a thoughtlessness to their actions that is dictated by their biological imperative.

“What she’d done hit her then, as it had not before, making her insides slick with nausea. She’d taken the girl’s freedom […] the way Miuko, too, had been stripped of her choices every day of her life.”

Miuko engages in the same mindset as Sidrisine by taking Kanayi’s will away and enthralling her to do her bidding. Though Sidrisine does not feel remorse for her actions, this moment cements Miuko’s fear of her own demonic power and her desire to earn respect without imparting carnage, as she is too aware of what it means to be subjugated.

“It’s not hurt if it’s gift. We help you, you help us. That’s how it works, yes? Everyone needs everyone, and no one gets what they want alone.”

The author demonstrates the bargaining system that is instrumental in navigating the spiritual world. Though Miuko will essentially be absorbing their lifeforce for some heavy lifting work, the spirit’s favor-and-debt system ensures that the transaction is done in good faith without trickery despite the baiganasu being trickster spirits.

“Crazy. Untrustworthy. What were they going to call her next? Too emotional? It seemed that being a demon in the spirit world was akin to being a woman in Awara.”

The spirit world is far from idyllic. As marginalization still exists within its borders, it also has issues with equal and equitable treatment for all its inhabitants.

“…I ruined myself for you...”

This sentence is indicative of the ease with which women can be devalued within Awaran society, reminiscent of Confucian values. Even in matters of love, women are at a disadvantage, as their perceived value is based on the notions of corporeal purity and virginity—a parameter not shared with their male counterparts, who can engage in sexual activities without consequence.

“But she lived dreams, now, didn’t she? She’d traveled to Ana. She’d bargained with gods. Nothing was out of her reach.”

Miuko has finally come to terms with her own abilities and the resourcefulness that laid dormant while she lived in Nihaoi. Though her self-discovery was hard-earned, it cemented itself into a new, resilient self-esteem.

“With the demon prince fueling her powers, she would be capable of obliterating both Ada and Ana in a matter of days, from the tallest peaks to the lowliest beetles to the Lunar Gods themselves, rendering it all to dust.”

Chee exposes just how powerful Miuko is as a demon and how the world continues to survive only by virtue of Miuko’s desire for it to be so. Were it not for her retained humanity, the doro yagra would have long since enacted his vengeance and both worlds would be destroyed.

“If there was one thing [Miuko had] learned from growing up in Nihaoi, however, it was that things ended, whether you wanted them to or not, and rarely in the way you hoped.”

The struggles Miuko faces often leave her with difficult choices, whose options are never easily taken and require the consideration of sacrificing herself for the greater good. The author highlights Miuko’s maturity in facing hard decisions and her ability to focus on the issues at hand with a level head.

“Miuko grinned as her blue hand unclenched. She may not have been all human. She may not have been all demon. But whatever she was, after all that had transpired, she knew on thing for certain: for the first time in her life, she was finally, wholly, unabashedly herself.”

Though Miuko will always be a partial human and a partial demon, both fragments can form a seamless whole. As neither option fully fits with her person, Miuko resolves her identity by straddling the threshold between worlds.