Never Never

This section recounts Charlie and Silas’s reactions to the return of their amnesia. At 11:00 am, both teens lose themselves, and in turn, each other. They are far apart at the moment, as Charlie is missing. More so than before, this section pits two narratives against each other: In Silas’s narrative, he has an important football game coming up, a game that challenges who he is and who he is pretending to be, while in Charlie’s narrative, she is being held captive. Through juxtaposition, the novel continues to explore The Importance of Identity as well as, through letters and journal entries, The Reality of Soul Mates.

Silas struggles with his identity as a football star. From the moment he comes to in his car and faces a cop at his window, he is reminded that he is expected to play in a football game that night. This is again underscored when the same cop catches him in Charlie’s house. At this point, the reader can surmise that Silas has embraced a specific image of masculinity due to his father’s aggressive expectations and perhaps, heartbreak over Charlie. However, amnesia allows him the opportunity to question the integrity of his athletic persona, as he is far more focused on Charlie’s whereabouts. He cannot identify with the aggressive nature of football or the elevation of football players as local heroes. When Silas finds an extra letter in his glove compartment, it details Charlie’s rejection of their love—but the letter only serves as proof of the soul mate-like spark they once had. For this reason, he ultimately prioritizes her over the upcoming game.

As for Charlie, her confinement in an unknown room reinforces her conflict with vulnerability. At this point, the novel hints at her and Silas’s breakup having been caused by the arrest and imprisonment of Charlie’s father, Brett—which proved traumatic for the whole family. She responded to this trauma by cutting ties, so as to not invest her emotions in potentially fleeting matters—which is in line with her characterization thus far. In order to right her wrong (the breakup) in the eyes of the universe, she must accept vulnerability and allow herself to depend on others. Charlie’s redemption as a soul mate begins with confinement, one as surreal as the supernatural moments during her earlier loop. Like Charlie, the reader is at a loss as to why she is being held captive and by whom. Initially, she plays her part as an invulnerable, untouchable isolated person. Later, she castigates herself for being overwhelmed: “I am so mad at myself for crying that I swipe hard at my tears and sit up, banging my head pretty hard against the metal bars of a bed” (183). Like Silas, who fights the role of football star to tap into his authentic emotions, Charlie, too, works through her emotions.

While Silas’s love letters and Charlie’s journal entries aid his movement toward authenticity, the key to Charlie’s journey is her dream. The boy in her dream offers her an aptly named Life Saver before they make out. The kiss wakes her, and she questions if the dream was instead a memory of a past love. Despite not knowing this boy is Silas, Charlie yearns for him. She is not made weak by love, but strong, determined to end her nightmare of a situation.